Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm lost and stupid without you.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
