I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize