I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize