how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
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I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
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Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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