Ambien. No doubt about it.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
