lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
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