i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
