Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
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