So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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