WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
