Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
should my penis look like a turkey
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
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Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
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the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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