Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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