what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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