so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
