hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
