Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
