That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
