I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
17 year olds will be the death of me.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
