I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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