I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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