Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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