i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
