He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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