Having a random hookup so left but love u
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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