Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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