Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize