All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize