I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
