Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
