i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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