Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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