I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
