do herpes really smell.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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