No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
