I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
