i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
