Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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