My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
