3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Randomize
