He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
