I need help removing her.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
