true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
