Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I will pee on everything he values.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
