Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
