Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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