Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
