I want to make a zoo with you.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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