Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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