suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
