So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
