what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
