I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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