nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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