That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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