Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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