He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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