Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
3 2 1 whiskey
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
