I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
you inspire me to be a worse person
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
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