why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize