I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
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I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
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It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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