We're facebook friends in real life
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
