Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
