I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
