I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
nutella sex= disaster
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
