I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
